BILLINGSGATE POST - Dr. Alfred Cummings, proctologist to the stars, has performed many miracles operating on Hollywood assholes. Just to name a few; he claims to have rebored the bungholes of such Hollywood notables as Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, Jane Fonda and all of the Kardashian sisters.
However, in the Fall Edition of the Proctologist Journal of Medicine, Dr. Cummings lays claim to being the proctologist who ruined the perfect asshole by planting teeth in Vice President Biden's mouth.
"I am not proud of what I did," he confesses. "I knew I was bound by the Hippocratic oath when I began my medical career. But how many times do you have an opportunity like this?"
Anyone who watched the debate last week between Vice President Biden and Paul Ryan would have to admit that the doctor did a helluva job; but in doing so, he ruined a perfect asshole.