Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 October 2012

image for The Million Muppet March Scares Paul Ryan
President Obama has stated that he will gladly welcome the Million Muppet Marchers to the White House.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The organizers of The Million Muppet March say that the event is gaining momentum daily.

Michael "Gonzo" Bellavia and Chris "Fozzie Bear" Mecham say that they decided to put the march together after hearing Mitt "The Flip Flopper" Romney say that if he is elected president he will be shipping Big Bird and the rest of the Sesame Street Muppet's to China.

Ballavia says he grew up with Kermit, Miss Piggy, and the dozens and dozens of other Muppet characters.

He recalls being the only kid in the fifth grade who wore Kermit The Frog underwear. He also had a Miss Piggy Lunchbox.

Mecham and Bellavia told The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that they have already received commitments from 823,904 individuals who have said that they will dress as Muppet's characters and participate in a nine mile march which will culminate at Washington D.C.s International Mall of Merchantry.

Political Salad Bar Magazine spoke with Paul "Skippy" Ryan and asked what he thought about the Million Mupppet March. Ryan replied that at first he just figured that it was nothing but a bunch of unemployed fruit cups just trying to stir up trouble.

But Little Bunny Foo Foo has now done a Mitt Romney "Flip Flop" and says that once he learned that over 800,000 members of the 47 percent have signed up for the march he decided to change his tune quicker than Oprah Winfrey can eat a Big Mac.

Ryan now says that the march actually scares him because he knows that most of the 47 percenters grew up with the Muppet's and now their children are watching them and learning from them.

SIDENOTE: The Teacup Chihuahua has admitted off-the-record that he personally likes the Muppet's and that his three kids love them also, but since his 'Boss' Mitt Romney hates them then he has no choice but to hate them as well.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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