ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Mitt Romney flew up to Alaska in an effort to try and convince the people of the 49th state that they should vote for him even though there really aren't that many millionaires in the Iceberg State.
He was met at The Nanook of The North Airport by Senator Shelia "Snowblower" Fibbertiglet, 56.
The senator who has never been married told the former governor of Massachusetts that she really likes him a lot except for when he said that he would be eliminating Big Bird and the Muppet's.
Romney smiled and quickly changed the subject saying that Alaska is a lot colder and whiter than he had originally thought.
Senator Fibbertiglet nodded saying that contrary to what the news media says about Alaska, Anglo-Americans actually make up about 97.3 percent of the population.
"Old Mittens" Romney rolled his eyes and said that by whiter he had meant white as in the color of snow and not white as in the color of people's skin.
The senator giggled and simply said, "Oh, okey dokey hokey pokey sir, my bad."
Romney was informed by a reporter for the Anchorage Igloo Chronicle that the states Teabag Party had not fully endorsed him but was quick to add that a splinter group known as the Teabaggers-On-Bikes had agreed to vote for him.
Romney was thrilled to hear that but his excitement was tempered once the senator informed him that the Teabaggers-On-Bikes only had seven members and one was under 21 and could not vote.
A reliable source reported that Romney turned to his campaign manager Birchley Wickenwax and whispered, "Say Wicky, you mean to tell me that you had me fly all of these thousands and thousands of miles to this great big ice factory for six-lousy-votes?"
Wickenwax stared down at the snow and ice forming on his shoes and remarked, "Sorry sir...my bad."