LANSING, Michigan - Governor Rick Snyder speaking from his Governor's Mansion, Ethanol Estates, has just issued a governor's directive.
The governor has said that he is sick and tired of hearing about all of these so called undecided voters.
He said that they are merely attention-seeking spoiled brats who already know if they are voting for President Barack Obama or for Mitt Romney.
He pointed out that they are pretending that they are undecided in order to get the tons of attention from the political news media that they are getting.
Governor Snyder said that he was told from one of his state undercover operatives that out of all of the Michigan voters who say they do not know who they are voting for that 98.7 percent of them already know and have known for quite sometime.
He said that he was handed several secret recordings in which these so called undecideds were recorded.
One such recording involves a Mr. Logan F. Zanderwine, 81, from Kalamazoo who was recorded saying to a manager of a Flat As A Pancake Pancake House in Dearborn that he loves all of the attention from the news media that he is getting and hasn't felt this important since his wedding day 60 years ago.
Another undecided voter Margo Flo Fickerfiggle, 46, of Saginaw, who owns her own shoe factory, said that she has already appeared on television four times.
She noted that she's thrilled to say that she's now engaged to an unemployed muffler plant auto worker, Burgess "Beer King" Niddycastle, 39, who saw her saying that she was not sure who she was voting for on a local TV station in Saginaw.
SIDENOTE: Governor Synder has made it abundantly clear that he has a list showing the names, addresses, phone numbers, and social security numbers of thousands of undecided voters in Michigan. He emphasizes that starting on Friday, October 19, at 12:01 p.m., he and the state's attorney general will begin issuing fines ranging from $890 up to as much as $9,365 to any Michigan citizens who still call themselves undecided voters.