President Obama has had to undergo speech therapy after banging his head. White House officials said the temporary speech impediment will be rectified before he has to give a speech about the economy.
An insider said that Obama became difficult to understand when he asked for a; "Cup of Rosy Lee".
His secretary was concerned after asking about a walk about in Washington. "President Obama said to me; "Oye, on this ball and chalk, can we ave a nose bag at the local Pie an mash shop?" I did not comprehend what the President was asking, so called security, when they arrived, he got quite nasty"
Head security officer, Arnold Swatinnever recalls. "When we arrived in the office, President Obama was standing in the middle of the room with an ornament in his hand, I asked him what was wrong, he made toward me in a threatening manner and said; "Do you want sum you sleg, I've shit bigger blokes than you, bring it on you sarf London nonce, mate of Jimmy savile are yu"?
"I explained I was his security officer but he would not listen, and continued to speak in a strange tongue, we had no choice but to try and subdue him and then he started to chant".
"Come on darn if yu fink yu ard enough" with that, he dived into his private bathroom and slept".
Professor Stanley Unwin said; "Mr Obama will be rectified in the thrum before the Speakibole"