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Topics: Navy, Higgs Boson

Friday, 12 October 2012

image for Bo'sun Higgs Arrested in San Diego Bar
"Who Made YOU Admiral?"

That didn't take long. No sooner had Bo'sun Higgs pulled in with the rest of the fleet did he find himself having too good a time with a couple of girls owning five names between the both of them and knocking back the electric alcohol that has powered most of the sailors in all of the best navies of the world.

It doesn't take this guy long to do anything, or change everything, bouncing off of curved walls only he can see. The thing is, nobody likes a smartass, and as excellent as he is at what he does, there is no denying that there is nothing smart about the way some people talk. It just goes to show you that this world happens to be the home to so many different strange, colorful, and yes, rude people.

Yes, this sailor can drink with the best of his kind. And with the worst of them, he drinks even harder.

There is nothing like an Ion on a tear, loose in a kind of place where he really doesn't belong, belting them back and slowly losing his charge, chasing around a couple of thieving hookers and pissing off everybody else in the same area code with all these loud, appropriate and otherwise perfectly true observations about the differences between flat and curved paradigms! As if anyone else could even think of half of one! The hookers just laugh. All they have to do is to keep him thinking that he's chasing them while they are actually victimizing him!

All this makes for a very bad drunk in the long run when you're running low on juice and don't care because you had about a few dozen too many, so it wasn't any surprise when he started to ricochet around, mistaking a bus driver for a Marine and pushing him down a flight of stairs (he landed flat on his fat BART butt, but he was okay) and then, splashing that guy with his own drink. Just "for being a phony."

At this point he began to pick up velocity and spin, which is always bad for a drunken sailor on land. When the mirror over the bar broke - that was it. In the melee that ensued, even Popeye would've got his ass beat!

But they will still have that party for him next month, because he's that kind of guy!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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