HOUSTON - In an effort to avoid any adverse publicity NASA has sent out an in-house memo that the facts concerning Mars Rover Incident #717, were to be kept extremely confidential.
The author of the memorandum, who has since been identified as Brigadier General Taliaferro "Hank" Tiffintocky, wrote that the decision was made by a committee of top NASA officials in the interest of not clouding the upcoming presidential election.
Wyatt St. Yuma, a reporter with Political Salad Bar Magazine learned from an unnamed, highly impeccable, inside source that on Thursday, October 24, 2012, at 12:07 a.m. (Timbuktu Time) the Mars Rover named "Curiosity" was involved in an involuntary road kill incident.
According to the unnamed NASA official the "Curiosity" was videotaped running over what appeared to look like what we on planet Earth refer to as a woodchuck.
Some NASA executives say that it looks more like a beaver or a wolverine, but as Paris Hilton says, 'it's a case of 6 inches of one, a dozen of the other.'
When asked why it was so vital that the road kill incident be kept a top secret, the NASA source explained that the reason is because the United States government does not want to be perceived as going to another planet and attacking the wildlife.
He noted that back in 1492, Christopher Columbus and his band of Spanish sailors got a very bad rap when they came to America, landed on Plymouth Rock (since renamed Chrysler Rock), and began shooting the wild turkeys like they were going out of style.
SIDENOTE: Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that they have managed to obtain a first generation copy of this highly classified videotape involving the road kill and will be airing it on the next edition of their entertainment show.