DANVILLE, Kentucky - The Vice-Presidential Debate between Vice-President Joe Biden and Paul Ryan will be held in Danville, Kentucky on October 11.
The town of Danville, is best noted for being the place where the Monopoly green houses and red hotels are manufactured.
It is also the town that claims to be the birthplace of onion rings, invisible ink pens, and Confederate money.
Martha Raddatz of ABC News will be the moderator and she will be assisted by guest assistant moderator George Clooney, who has promised to be non-partisan.
Security for the event is being handled by the highly reputable Danville security firm Bullets 'R' Us.
Raddatz has instructed both parties that she will not put up with any vulgar language, use of foreign words, hyperbole, oxymorons, slanderous alliteration, or double negatives.
She has stated that each candidate will be alloted a certain amount of time and if they go over it she will press a red button located on her desk which will activate a small electrical charge from a pea-size electrical condenser which is interwoven into each candidates underwear.
The Political Drive Thru Window News Agency interviewed both candidates at length and learned that Paul Ryan plans on mentioning Vice-President Joe Biden's age, his thinning hair, and the fact that he eats lots of hamburgers.
They report that Vice-President Joe Biden will mention that Paul Ryan looks like a Teacup Chihuahua, has a very noticeable widow's peak, and has a lisp which he tries to hide but sometimes fails to do so and as a result ends up sounding like a cross between Barney Frank and Barbara Walters.
Both candidates told The Political Drive Thru Window that they will not mention extremely personal matters such as the fact that Paul Ryan actually sleeps in Little Bunny Foo Foo pajamas or that Vice-President Joe Biden has a crush on Kate "The Great" Gosselin.
SIDENOTE: Mrs. Ryan (Janna) has been asked to please not wear her fire engine red T-shirt that reads: To You He May Be Beaver Cleaver - But To Me He's Ward Cleaver.