Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 5 October 2012

image for Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials
"I'll not eat at Gaga's," said an already dead barracuda.

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - City Health Inspectors rated the restaurant owned by Lady Gaga "at below 'C' level for 42 critical sanitation violations."

The very best rating is "A."

The report was released today and was actually a re-inspection of Joanne Trattoria on Manhattan's trendy West Side. In the first inspection 35 critical sanitary violations were found.

"The restaurant, Joanne Trattoria, is operated by Lady Gaga's parents. It has consistently been dissed by every food critic in New York City," said a New York Post food critic who spoke to theSpoof.com on condition that his name, Edward Robertson, would not be published.

Mark Lowton, Editor and Chief of theSpoof.com, sent Martin Shuttlecock, the publication's Chief Food Critic to New York City to personally sample the fare at Joanne Trattoria.

Apparently, Shuttlecock "found nothing at all amiss."

"I had the Tripe algae-commode. It was cooked perfectly, not too dry, and just greasy enough. I haven't a clue as to what all the bother is about," he gushed.

"The bother," according to the report, released by the Health Department, is quite extensive. In order to be brief, theSpoof.com will list only three of the more glaring sanitation issues:

"Food not protected from potential source of contamination during storage, preparation, transportation, display or service.

"Personal cleanliness inadequate. Outer garment, consisting of mysterious meat miniskirts, is soiled with possible contaminant. Effective pubic hair restraint not worn in an area where food is prepared.

"Urinals at tables were not cleaned and properly sanitized after use."

"Joanne Trattoria is no longer considered a sanitary restaurant. It is hereby designated a Public Vomitorium, Class D," the report concluded.

We will keep you informed of any upgrades.

Make Francois Dubois, S.J.'s day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

4 13 22 5

Go to top