Written by John_L
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Monday, 1 October 2012

image for Romney employs Anti-Fall measures
Fall Guy Ford

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has started to take Anti-Fall measures as the Presidential campaign enters its final few weeks.

In the past falling over in public has cost GOP candidates dearly in the polls. Most notably was the campaign of Gerald Ford. Ford was the only man to serve as president without being elected to the post having assumed office after Nixon took the ultimate fall. But it was his tripping up and falling over during the election campaign that gave Jimmy Carter the edge he needed to win.

There followed a time when falling didn't happen. Ronald Reagan was able to stay on his feet even after being shot. While on the Democrat side Bill Clinton may have fallen down as a husband but was always able to stay on two feet.

Yet it was during Clinton's reelection campaign that falling returned to national interest when GOP candidate Bob Dole missed his chair at a hustings and fell on his duff. Before the fall which was captured by photographers and became and early Internet Meme Dole was riding high in the polls. After the fall his ratings went down almost as quickly as he had.

George W. Bush was able to stay on his feel during the campaign but not long after he fell off a segway. From that moment on Bush went from being the savvy NeoCon to the dim bulb president.

Obama has shown his cat like instincts while playing Basketball and other athletic challenges and is always able to land on his feet. John McCain did stumble more than once which many of the Tea Party say cost him the election, although others blame Sarah Palin.

In an attempt to stay on his feet Romney is wearing special balance shoes and has taken to walking arm in arm with at least one of his body guards. GOP officials are making sure that all chairs which Mitt may sit on are non folding and bolted securely to the ground. The hope is to keep Mitt on his feet. Romney has also requested that he be escorted to the stage arm in arm with two WWE Divas for the debate to prevent falling and raise his profile with wrestle fans.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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