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Friday, 28 September 2012

image for Missouri's Akin: 'My opponent is not a legitimate lady!'
Legitimate Kansas ladies not farting in a legitimate Kansas wheat field.

KANSAS CITY, MO (ABSNN) - In a Kansas City news conference today, Republican challenger Todd Akin, of "Legitimate Rape" fame accused incumbent US Senator Claire McCaskill of acting "unladylike," during Wednesday's TV and radio debate.

"It beggars the imagination that some whiny, educated liberals in Missouri dare to accuse me of being a Neanderthal for my factual statement regarding Legitimate Rape while saying nothing at all about Senator McCaskill burping and passing gas during our televised debate yesterday," a flummoxed Akin told reporters.

"With all the crap he was slinging in the debate, how could he tell I farted," the Senator asked.

"Besides, ladies do not pass gas," she smirked.

"Well, that's just the point, Senator," Akin responded.

"I know ladies, Senator. Believe me, you are not a legitimate lady," he added.

Akin refused to withdraw from the Senate race even though he was asked to do so by Mitt Romney and even after all Republican national funding was denied him.

"Really now, which would you prefer," asked Akin.

"A Senator who knows when a rape is legitimate, or a farting Democrat?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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