Washington, USA. In breaking news, notorious crime boss Jimmy Hoffa has been found in the ceiling loft of a suburban Cleveland tenement. The formally ever present Teamster's representative has not been seen since 1974 when he mysteriously disappeared after a football game between the Patriots and the Redskins.
Emerging from his dusty and very cramped location, Hoffa was heard to say "What's goin' on here?! What's with all the press bullshit?! Get outta here, scumbags!" He refused to answer all questions apart from one enquiry about how he survived all these years. "Ever heard of Budweiser jerk?" was Hoffa's sarcastic reply.
Hoffa says he will run for President in November to rejuvenate his ill gotten gains.