Written by Adam Click
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Tuesday, 13 November 2012

image for Napple's New Self-Driving Car is Like Riding With Your Blind Grandmother
A Napple navigation map of Sardinia

From the internet search engine giant, Giggle's recently released self-driving car has sent ripples throughout the automotive and computer industries. Though less than perfect, Napple decided that in order to compete, it had to release it's own version no matter what.

With competition between Giggle and Napple,the computer technology superstar so fierce, things were bound to get ugly sooner or later. Unfortunately for a select group of drivers,know as early adopters, "sooner" was way too soon.

Create a badly flawed navigation program, add some untested technology and a poorly thought out marketing plan and you get a vehicle only a grandmother could love. Designed to compete with Giggle's Automated Automobile,the Napple GS will send you on a wild ride akin to driving through a Salvador Dali painting.

None-the-less, at midnight on the date of the vehicle's release, Crowds lined up in front of John Jacob Auto Dealers for a chance to buy the car manufactured for Napple by the JingleHeimer-Schmidt Company of Whalenberg, Germany.

The John Jacob Auto Dealers Group of Worthington, West Virginia, has exclusive rights to sell the New Napple GS, which wags have renamed the "Granny Smith" and just a short trip in the vehicle confirmed their doubts as to the feasibility of this new venture into unfamiliar territory by a company known for innovation. The John Jacob Group has discontinued sales of the vehicle.

"We knew the moment we installed our new navigation program into our vehicles that we were going to have problems," explained Rodger Arrows of Napple, "but with a deadline looming and customer expectations so high, we knew we had to launch it now. Fortunately drivers got motion sickness so quickly that no lives were lost."

"We want to make sure all our customers are happy." Mr. Arrows continued, "so If you plug your Napple Hi-Phone 5 into the vehicle's USB port it will download a coupon for a free Napple NoNads Music Player." Small consolation for those who are already invested in the vehicles. More than one driver has spent time in hospital and there are now talks of lawsuits from nauseated former customers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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