Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Weather

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

image for Britain Braces Itself For Mild Weather
A Quiet Day Weather Wise In Milton Keynes

Those plucky Brits have been warned this week to batten down the hatches and prepare themselves for prolonged outbreaks of mild weather.

Forecasters predict that the skies will probably be grey, and that gentle breezes will probably blow sporadic showers in a slightly less than vertical direction. Resulting in puddles on the streets, and outbreaks of mild irritation at bus stops.

The weather obsessed Brits have been advised to wear coats, as protection against far less than freezing temperatures, and to carry umbrellas, so as to avoid getting wet.

The Met Office of Great Britain also advised Brits to pack camping equipment in the back of their SUV's while doing the school run, in case it snows.

Which it probably won't.

At least until the train companies are totally unprepared for it, and the Highways Agency declares a state of emergency.

Meanwhile, the plucky Brits continue to make the best of a bad situation. Indomitable and indefatigable. Whatever that means.

"It rains all the time where I live," said a Manchester man. "It's really no big deal." Which is quite a damning indictment of British weather patterns.

They never try really hard to be extreme. Damn them all to hell. The cads and bounders. Scoundrels one and all and no mistake.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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