Written by Andria Rin
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Sunday, 23 September 2012

image for Mitt Romney gets mammogram to get woman's vote

First Mitt Romney goes with a darker make up to sway the Hispanic vote, now he has taken to getting mammograms to sway the female vote. Mitt Romney has has stepped into the radiology lab and put his breasts on the slab.

Mitt Romney has come out admitting he has the common affliction in elderly men called gynecomastia. It comes from the Greek word (gyno), meaning woman, and (mastos), meaning breast. It basically means, "having breasts like a woman". All women have gynecomastia, of course, but as men get older they too can grow breasts. It's a problem with hormones. All males and all females have both testosterone and estrogen. As men get older, they can stop making testosterone and only estrogen is left. This can cause men to grow female breasts.

Mitt Romney has released his tax return for 2011, and now he has released even more personal information. Mitt has admitted that he has a "solid B cup". Claiming they are bigger than Michele Obama's. Ann Romney has yet to comment on whose is bigger, hers or his, but she has admitted that she finds breasts on men attractive.

Several forms of testosterone treatment are available for such a problem, but the problem lies in the fact that the human body doesn't absorb synthetic testosterone very well. Most of the testosterone is filtered through the kidneys and expelled in the urine. The best way to get testosterone into the body is through injection and getting it straight into the blood. Other ways of getting testosterone in the body are through pill form, patch form, and gel form. The pills being the least effective, as the testosterone has a hard time being absorbed through the small intestine, unlike most medicines.

Mitt Romney has opted for no treatment at all. His case is too drastic for the low absorption of the pills and he claims to be afraid of needles. The only other option would be the patch or the gel. With his severe case, his only choice would be to use the gel directly on his scrotum. He claims that this is also not an option. He is afraid that the gel would interfere with his Magic Mormon Underwear.

Mitt Romney has opted for regular breast screenings and if breast cancer happens, he has stated that God has allowed him to get a mastectomy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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