Washington - Global Piss Process activist Aung San Suu Kyi is to receive the Congressional Gold Medal for keeping her gob shut about being Sun Myung Moon's daughter 'and other horrid stuff'.
She'll pick up the gong from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in a televised Capitol Rotunda ceremony, first dreamed up by the Bushes in 2008.
Described in NATO files as a North Korean money launderer for the Illuminati the Reverend Sun Myung Moon was a pal of Ronnie Raygun's before being jailed for US tax evasion and conspiracy to defraud.
His global network of dodgy front companies used to channel Unification Church stooges' hard earned $$$s to pet projects around the world - including maintenance and subsistence handouts to daughter Suu Kyi.
"That was one of the prenup conditions imposed on the Moonie leader by poverty apologist Mother Theresa," a CIA source commented today.
The Agency has always reckoned the Albanian nun was Suu Kyi's birth mother until postpartum psychosis 'sent her bonkers' into a lifelong missionary position in Calcutta's slums rather than care for her little Moonie brat daughter.
An Interpol probe in 2001 identified Suu Kyi as new North Korean leader Kim Jong-un's own birth mother following a two minute knee-trembler with a George Bush relative at a Macao casino circa 1982.
She recently emerged from decades of Burmese military junta house arrest after being sussed trying to convert Myanmar's population to Rev Sun Myung Moon's notorious money-pit cult.
Today's Capitol Hill ceremony can be seen on FauxNews.