WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has decided to sit out the upcoming presidential debates in lieu of an even bigger crowd-pleaser. Mitt will suit up the mitts to spar against--HIMSELF.
Video spots will be aired showing the Republican candidate saying really inane things about the country's poor and middle class. Romney will then have 90 seconds to either deny that he really said such things, claim he was quoted out of context, or state that he could have chosen better words.
When asked why the President was reluctant to go up against Romney, Democratic campaign manager James Messenger threw up his hands. "I think it's clear to most anyone but Paul Ryan. Nobody can do a better job at talking down Romney than the man himself."