Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Monday, 17 September 2012

image for Martian Extremists Attack Space Rover Curiosity: Say John Carter Movie Insults Them
Martians Lay Waste

BILLINGSGATE POST: Jihadists burn down American Embassy in Cairo, blame insulting crude movie: Big Deal! Al-Qaeda surrogates kill ambassador and three others in Libya, says movie insults Prophet Mohammad: Big Deal! Martian extremists attack space rover Curiosity because movie John Carter depicts Martians in a very demeaning way. Now we are talking Inter-Galactic insults, which are a very BIG DEAL because our world is at risk.

In the newly released movie, John Carter, a Civil War vet played by Taylor Kitch, is transplanted to Mars and discovers a lush planet inhabited by 12-foot barbarians. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures (an insult in itself) he escapes, only to encounter a princess who is in desparate need of a savior. Not familiar with the usual, run-of-the-mill saviors, such as Jesus Christ, Mohammad, or Mitt Romney's own prophet, Joseph Smith, John Carter insults all concerned by imposing himself as the Martian savior, pissing off disciples of every ilk.

A spokesmartian, speaking on behalf of the Red Planet, said "enough is enough." He went on, "When the movie, Abbott and Costello Go To Mars, came out in the 50's, both liberal and conservative Martians thought it was hilarious. However, when My Favorite Martian portrayed a sarcastic Martian coming to live on Earth with antennae sticking out of his head, that seemed to set the stage for further insulting caricatures of my countrymen."

"Tell President Obama to keep his f..king rovers out of our backyard unless he wants an Inter-Galactic war that will make this Muslim thing look like a pissing contest."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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