Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Time

Monday, 1 October 2012

image for New Digital Time Rules Begin On Monday
Digital Time Showing On A Digital Clock

Washington, DC-- Lawmakers are warning Americans to get up a little early this Monday, just to be prepared for some extra headaches. A new decimal system to measure time is about to begin, and it could be a little confusing. It's the first change to the laws of time since King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon invented the calendar almost 5,000 years ago.

Most everyone knows that there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day. All of that is about to change. The new decimal system will simplify all of that.

Beginning on Monday there will be 100 seconds in a minute, 100 minutes in an hour and ten hours in a day. The length of the second will also change too. It will be approximately 66.6% longer than the current second.

"Think of it like a metric system for time." said Dr. Steven Hawkings. "Time is all relative anyway." said the famed physicist.

Lawmakers hope the new digital time system spreads around the world. For right now, it's only in the United States.

Observers from other nations don't seem to think too much of the new time rules:

"You're all a bunch of bloody tossers!" said one British observer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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