Written by mikewadestr
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Tuesday, 11 September 2012

image for US to Repatriate Mexicans with Catapults
"Kick up your feet Jose so you won't hit the toll plaza!"

There will be no more Boeing 747 airplane rides for Mexicans being repatriated back to Mexico for being caught along the Arizona border by the US Border Patrol anymore. These plane rides will be replaced by the more exciting and importantly cheap catapult ride. But, not to worry, the Mexicans will arrive in the same timely and safe manner at Mexico City as they always have just with the addition of gray hair and brown bottom pants.

Each repatriated Mexican will be given a bag of tacos and bottled water before being fired across the border at a speed of 600 MPH at a trajectory of 60 degrees. The flight of each Mexican will reach the maximum altitude of 28,000 feet above the town of Los Zingers before descending downward and landing in a giant pit of tires just outside of San Goma.

There is no need to worry about any Mexicans getting injured during the landing because the tires are all Michelins.

Not only does this new method save money, but it saves energy and is Green Approved by the Obama Administration.

"We feel pretty good about this", stated Border Patrol Spokesman Freddy Fling. "Not only are these Mexicans getting a meal and something to drink but part of the ride will be scheduled to send them over a drive-in movie theater that will be showing a movie. I guess you can say they are pretty much flying first class for free at no expense to the taxpayer".

In other news, the State of Florida is considering fitting Great White Sharks with saddles and using them to repatriate Cubans back to Cuba.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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