Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Washington, Congress

Friday, 30 June 2006

image for Crumbling Bonesmen confident of suborning Congress
'Mirror, mirror off the wall, which one is the evilest of all?'

Washington DC - (Associated Mess): The Osteoporosis Division of the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'N' Bones has rallied round its No 1 rent boy after the US Supreme Court said he had no authority to run a dictatorship just because he had successfully got away with impersonating George W Bush for the last thirty years.

The move follows a landmark ruling by the Supreme Court pronouncing that the Cuban-born KGB hit man - who has been a squatter in the White House since a Republican Operation Landslide victory in November 2000 - could not suspend the Rule of Law using the CIA's self-styled no-frills refugee camps in Guano Bay because it contravened the Geneva Contention and the Inhuman Rights Act of 9/11.

The President was swift to retaiilate at a televised press conference yesterday: "It was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship between patently consenting adults" he said, as tell-tale trickles of sweat ran down the pretzel area of his cheek.

Fellow Bonesmen reacted with rapturous joy, bursting into spontaneous applause at their hero's profound rhetoric and its deep political implications on the world diplomatic stage in the 21st century.

Bill Frist was the first to wade in with a confident Skull 'N' Bones battle-cry promising to fix the Senate to pass enough Homeland Insecurity laws that would make President Bush virtually impregnable.

Other Republican senators were quick to back up the idea, suggesting a novel scheme of suborning any dissent in Congress by releasing a day of prime-time coast-to-coast TV coverage of the Bush family's cutesy home videos on Fourth of July, with accompanying footage of his spelndid three day official visit to the House of Mountbatten in the UK in November 2003.

Meanwhile realpolitik commentators on both sides of the Atlantic Bar and Grill were swift to remind gullible Middle American tax-paying voters that in the final analysis, the current Bush incumbent in the White House was no more off the wall than the previous one and the symbiotic relationship between the two meant that they needed to carry on sucking off one another for at least another two years for this final scene of the Iraqi Horror Picture Show to keep drawing in the punters.

"It's a class act", said one Bush-watcher. "But it will run its natural course just as soon as the American public runs out of sick-bags."

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