Richmond, Virginia, USA. A local shoe repairman has definitively declared that otherwise dead terrorist supremo, Osama bin Laden, is indeed NOT deceased. Harrison Bullwinkel Douglas III says, without a shadow of a doubt, that bin Laden is alive and well and working as a au pair in the small town of Doogeyville in Virginia.
Astonished White House press corps veterans are falling over themselves to verify this incredible piece of information. "I haven't left my laptop all day" said journalist Pete Holland (not his real name). If the news is correct, then President Obama and the State Department, the Pentagon and even the pilot of Air Force One, have some explaining to do.
Mr Douglas is adamant that he saw the Al Quaeda chief walking down the main street of Doogeyville with some young children. "It was him, you bet your sweet bippy" he maintained. "He had the head gear and that crazy looking beard happening" Douglas added.
NB in news just in, Harrison Douglas has been committed to a mental institution by his family.