WASILLA, Alaska - Reports coming out of Wasilla, Alaska, state that Sarah "Snowflake" Palin is extremely angry and upset at the fact that she was not invited to be a part of the 2012 Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida.
The former governor of Alaska and unsuccessful 2008 GOP vice-presidential running mate of Arizona's Senator John "Comb Over" McCain informed Savannah Bamboo of Political Salad Bar Magazine that she cannot believe how horribly she was treated by Mitt Romney and his fellow Republican cronies.
She said that there is no one who has done more for Republican causes than her.
The "Loose Moose" then pointed out that it really bothers her because she is three times prettier than Minnesota Congresswoman Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann and ten times prettier than Arizona Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer, and both plain Jane's were invited to attend the convention.
Palin confessed that it was very embarrassing for her to be shopping at Eskimo Ernie's Food Market in her home town and have customers and employees ask her how come she was not down in Tampa at the Tampa Bay Times Forum for The Republican National Convention.
The woman of many nicknames, including the "Tundra Troll" disclosed that it got so bad that she just decided to stay inside her home, Casa Moscow, and let husband Todd and daughter Willow do the shopping.
"Snow Plow" Palin, as Vice-President Joe Biden refers to her, has said that all of this political snobbery has caused her a tremendous amount of stress and angst and she is thinking about checking herself into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic in Los Angeles.
SIDENOTE: Savannah Bamboo stated that Mrs. Palin is looking very pale and has resorted to gorging herself on moose sandwiches, caribou tacos, and reindeer pizza.