Written by Chromageddon
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Saturday, 1 September 2012

Harry Cloake, an enigmatic spokesperson for Clint Eastwood's public relations office in Sacramento, notes that since the RNC, incoming requests for invisibility have been increasing geometrically. Mr. Eastwood's heretofore unknown transformational superpower, demonstrated at the recent Republican National Convention in Tampa, FL, when he successfully rendered President Barack Obama invisible (also mute) in order to lecture him as a rhetorical device, has been met with a extremely high and increasing demand.

"It began with a few twitter accounts, the now-famous @InvisibleObama, and people just making jokes about an invisible president, bills, empty seats in congress, what have you. But then people seem to realize how useful it would be," said Harry. The trend for the hashtag #ClintsMagicWand exploded on Twitter, and then the requests just came pouring in," he continued. "However Mr. Eastwood is very busy and obviously doesn't have time to respond to every request. So we respectfully ask those hoping to get personal access to just be patient."

Mr. Eastwood, though, doesn't seem to be just busy with fans and random twits. According to an anonymous Romney insider, Clint is continuing his assistance to the campaign by using his power of invisibility on several key issues that are inconvenient for them at the moment, including Governor Romney's tax returns, some offshore bank account transactions, and of course the family dog. "Sometimes it's even gone too far," the source noted, "Recently Ex-Governor Palin was forced to cancel an interview, as she had been accidentally rendered invisible by Mr. Eastwood, and could no longer see the notes she had prepared."

In the meantime, interesting insights can be gained by searching the hastag on twitter, including requests from Mel Gibson, Representative Anthony Weiner, and Todd Aikin to have [various things - ed.] rendered invisible. Also notably, requests have been made by some celebrities such as Daniel Tosh and Lady Gaga to make all or just some of their clothes disappear. Some celebs, such as the Spice Girls, have even inquired as to the possibility of making their careers reappear.

"It will be interesting to see what happens," Mr. Cloake told us, "Since Mr. Eastwood has received formal requests from well-funded institutions to make both carbon emissions and the scientific data supporting climate change disappear. But he has not decided." Personally, we remain unsurprised that Clint hasn't yet come down on one side or the other.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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