Written by Thomasj25
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Saturday, 1 September 2012

Another suspicious flashlight was found Wednesday night, this time outside of Phoenix Police Department headquarters.

Authorities said the flashlight was turned on and lying in the middle of 7th Avenue and Washington. Police eventually determined that the flashlight wasn't a portal to mars.

Flashlights have had Valley residents on edge over the past several weeks. Five people were injured in three separate incidents last month after coming across flashlights containing explosive action packed mini universes.

The flashlights in those cases were turned off, but exploded into a fiery explosion of fireballs, firework and laser special effects. Fucking AMAZING.

Several other flashlights have been discovered across the city, but they did not contain the access to Narnia.

Police and scientist request to turn in every flashlight in phoenix for further examination.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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