"Who'd of ever thunk it?," was the banner headline in The New York Times this morning as it reported the leaked plans of the Events Committee of the GOP convention in Tampa. "Unbelievable," says the NYT. "Are they brain dead or did somehow the Obama administration place a Trojan horse in the GOP?"
The article describes the details of the party as leaked to the newspaper by an unknown informant: The entire hall is to be decorated as the dining room of the famous ship and the same food will be served as the night of the Titanic sinking. Faux life boats are being placed around the dining area with signs that read, "Women and children last!" According to the report, the committee in an effort to bring realism to the event will have the sprinkler system turned on just prior to the dessert course. "We are aware that this attempt at realism might cause some panic among the attendees," states the unknown source, "but we are prepared to do everything possible to insure their safety."
When asked about the safety of Governor Romney, the informant chuckled, "He'll be just fine! He plans to abandon the dinner when the sprinkler goes off!"
In related news, the three African Americans attending the convention have filed a complaint with the Events Committee stating they are being assigned dinner seats in the back of the hall. According to the complaint, the sign above the area reads---steerage"