Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 26 August 2012

image for It has now been confirmed; Neil Armstrong first astronaut in heaven!
First astronaut ever to enter God's heaven; Neil Armstrong RIP!

The sad passing of intrepid astronaut, Neil Armstrong RIP, has proven that there is a silver lining in every dark cloud - that he passed after not only achieved cult, global status by being the first man on the moon, but that he is also the first astronaut ever to be allowed through the Pearly Gates.

God gave permission for Neil to pass and take his seat amongst other great explorers, adventurers, mountain climbers, round the world sailors, etc.

Normally God rebuffs those who dare to explore his universe, but this time he had second thoughts and allowed Neil in because he was generally a good bloke and the moon is a worthless ball of stone and dust anyway.

Another major reason for allowing Neil into heaven was the fact that he proved to humans that there are no werewolves, vampires, zombies and other evil beings influenced by the moon because he found out that there are no radio stations up there beaming out Satan's messages.

Neil was last seen in his white suit chatting with Sir Edmund Hillary about his conquering of Everest way back when and asked Sir Edmund what it was like standing on top of the world, he answered, "heaven" he answered and Neil said, "now I completely understand!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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