Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 26 August 2012

image for The Egg Laying Hens Were Traumatized As Hell
Some of Grandpa Keaton Bricklywood's prized egg-laying hens.

POCAHONTAS, Arkansas - A recent 4.7 earthquake that hit Arkansas caused some damage to three trailer parks in the Greater Pocahontas area.

Long time resident Buford "Bubba" Razzfinker, 83, said that at first he thought that the earthquake was just the after effects of his all-night drinking with the Lybecker brothers Barney and Barkley and local tramp Trudie "Lips" Lippaveckio.

But when he saw a big old crack smack dab in the middle of farm-to-market road 7613, he knew that it was not the alcohol that was causing his dizziness.

He quickly turned on the radio and heard KKKX weatherman Riley "Dry Spell" Puzzlepot say that the area had been rocked by a 4.7 earthquake.

Puzzlepot went on to add that old man Erastus "Tractor" Hickorybush's prized breeding bull, Peter III, had gotten out of his pen and he wants it caught before he impregnates a whole bunch of unsuspecting cows like he did the last time he got out back on Valentine's Day.

Meanwhile farmer Mosey "Moonshine" Muckbrewster reported to Sheriff Clem "Bullseye" Woonsocket that his grandmother Effie Gretchen Bricklywood's butter churn was split all to hell.

He also said that about two dozen of Grandpa Keaton Bricklywood's prized egg-lay hens were severely traumatized when nest eggs that they had just laid the day before ended up going back inside of them quicker than a flea jumping a drop of human spit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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