Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 25 August 2012

image for Minneapolis Solves Its Unemployment Problem
The unemployed citizens of Minneapolis were each given $10,000 to move across the river to St. Paul.

MINNEAPOLIS - The city council of Minneapolis, Minnesota has just announced that it has reduced the town's unemployment percent all the way down to zero.

Council member Delta Joan Muscaretello spoke with an assembled throng of reporters and she revealed that after months and months of trying to figure out how to get the numbers down, she and one of her fellow city council members Audie Beryl Ditkindocker came up with a brilliant plan.

Councilwoman Muscaretello stated that they convinced the mayor to offer all of the unemployed citizens of Minneapolis $10,000 if they would move across the river to St. Paul.

The city council figured that a few of the citizens would move and at least the unemployment rate would go down a few points. But low and behold the council members as well as the mayor were all shocked when they found out that every single unemployed resident of Minneapolis took up the offer of the $10,000 to move to St. Paul.

Councilman Ditkindocker said that the program was so successful that next the city of Minneapolis is planning on doing something along the same lines in regards to the hundreds of homeless who stand on the corners in downtown Minneapolis.

Follow Up. The city of St. Paul is not one bit happy with the fast one that Minneapolis pulled since their unemployment rate has now more than doubled. Reports are that the St. Paul city council is looking into the possibility of sending the new unemployed residents down to the town of Winona using a similar monetary incentive.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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