Written by Aphrodite
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 18 August 2012

image for Anderson Cooper 360? Newsreader spotted at Chick Fil-A with Robert Pattinson!
Pattinson crowing over Anderson's 360 degree sex orientation!

Following the devastation caused by respective long time partners caught in compromising lip locks, and some say more, Vanderbilt heiress Anderson Cooper, and Twilight Star Robert Pattinson were spotted commiserating over breakfast amidst a crowd of Chick-Fil-A supporters in downtown Hog Hollow, New Jersey!

The pair seemed animated as they consoled each other over their partners philandering which caused wedding plans to be shockingly halted over the shady revelations of infidelity, duplicity, bondage and opportunistic shagging.

At one point Pattinson had to put his arm around Anderson as the latter broke into tears over his breakfast of the 'Mixed Fruit Blend', but noticeably cheered up when Robert offered him a bite of his "Cinnamon Cluster' onlookers reported.

Confronted by a reporter as they finished their lattes, Anderson was questioned over his July comment that "I'm gay, I've always been gay and I'm happy with who I am.'

The silver haired vixen coyly countered with "that may have been taken out of context in the heat of the moment. Actually I'm reevaluating my gender and sexuality due to present circumstances;I may even be 'evolving' and right now I could go either way!"

Pattinson for his part seemed radiant despite his earlier heartbreak over lover Kristen Stewart's admission that she had a 3 month relationship with less than studly married director Rupert Sanders after purchasing '50 shades of Grey' on Kindle but only after pictures of her tied naked to a tree in Central Park, NY, appeared on the internet.

Both appeared unaware of the recent furor over the Chick-Fil-A controversy due to it's owner's disapproval over same sex marriage which resulted in overwhelming support for the beleaguered fast food chain which employs over 12,000 workers in 1614 locations and does not discriminate in it's hiring or customer service.

While revelations that the owner had contributed large sums of money to oppose same sex marriage in the states due to his Christian beliefs was exploited by the Democratic Party in the midst of a heated election year as they vilified the company and its employees, tens of thousands have continued to mob the company's stores in support causing Chicken Futures to 'go through the roof' according to "Mad Money" financial reporter Jim Cramer.

Apparently the chummy meeting did not go unnoticed by the Obama election committee, as VP Joe Biden addressing the subject with a crowd at the Perdue Chicken processing plant in Salisbury, Maryland joked "now I finally know why the chicken crossed the road! There was a rooster on the other side!"

Make Aphrodite's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 2?

8 21 5 10

Go to top