As of August 31st of this year Detroit Michigan will be expelled from the United States and forced into exile. Government officials told us yesterday "Well come on. It's Detroit. Nobody wants Detroit."
With crimes rates in Motown being the highest they've ever been in roughly 45 minutes, the U.S. Government decided it was best for our country to part ways with it's meth-addicted cousin who crashed on our freedom couches one drug-fueled night too many.
"Detroit will live on." President Barack Obama stated at a recent press conference. "It will become it's own nation and can do away with all those pesky 'laws' that we Americans tend to prefer. And I am not a Muslim."
The President hopes to have a good relationship with Detroit but has let the city know that it's best if they not come over at all. Ever.