Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 August 2012

image for Sarah Palin Says She Hasn't Received Her GOP Convention Ticket Yet (Hmmm)
Sarah Palin is desperate to speak at the GOP Convention. (Photo by Piper Palin).

WASILLA, Alaska - The woman who was the Republican vice-presidential choice in 2008, is wondering why she has not received her ticket to the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida.

She reportedly asked her husband Todd if perchance he had got the letter with the tickets and maybe misplaced it.

Todd, who has a short fuse, is alleged to have told her that she would misplace her tongue before he would misplace a letter.

A reporter for Political Salad Bar Magazine, Savannah Bamboo, did some behind-the-scenes investigating and learned from a highly placed Republican Convention source that Mrs. Palin was not sent any tickets simply because Mitt Romney does not want her at the convention.

"Old Mittens" reportedly remarked off-the-record that he is sick and tired of "Snowflake" Palin shooting her mouth off and acting like she knows what the hell she is talking about when truth be told she has no effen idea what the hell she is talking about and is simply doing her best BS-101 imitation.

Romney added that Rush Limbaugh called him up and told him to ban her from the convention because if she shows up she will probably end up causing quite a commotion and say all kinds of stupid things regarding geography, the Revolutionary War, and Facebook.

Even Senator John McCain's wife Cindy, who is known as "Senior Barbie" has stated that it is time that Sarah "The Tundra Troll" Palin realizes that there is no one in the Lower 48, Democrat, Republican, Unitarian, or Independent, who gives a flying flip abut what she has to say.

"Moose Mama" Palin's popularity has fallen so far down the scale that even Tina Fey says she no longer mimics her.

Fey confessed that she just got tired of people hollering out things like "Get off the stage moose mouth," "Go back to the Iceberg State, reindeer breath and take that chubby Bristol 'The Pistol' with you," and "Shut the eff up Polar Bear Balls, everyone is tired of your same old, worn out spewings, rants, and raves."

In News Out of Buckingham Palace. The rumor that Queen Elizabeth II, has agreed to appear in the next James Bond movie as Bond's grandmother is false according to Simon Cowell who knows the queen very well.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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