Just as quickly as it was announced that Paul Ryan was to be the Republican choice for Vice-President, he announced that it was his sad duty to withdraw his selection.
About ten minutes after both Romney and Ryan spoke in front of the USS Wisconsin to an energetic audience it came to light that Ryan was a lawbreaker as recently as one week ago.
According to MSNBC, Paul Ryan and his wife flagrantly parked their Volkswagen only two feet from a fire hydrant when they were attending a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert in Salt Lake City. The car was ticketed and Congressman Ryan is scheduled to appear before a traffic judge within one month. Failure to appear could mandate incarceration.
When confronted with this scandal, Mr. Romney declared he was sticking by his choice. "Everyone makes mistakes...even bad ones like this," said Mr. Romney. However, Mr. Ryan after closed door consultations with his advisors (said to include conservative pundits like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck) decided that it was more prudent to withdraw his nomination for the good of the Party. It is believed he was unable to defend his actions that could have cost lives had there been a fire and the Fire Department couldn't access the partially-blocked hydrant.
On his way out the service entrance of the Sofitel Hotel, Mr. Ryan, head encased in a black towel, was caught by surprise by the ever-vigilant press. When asked where he was going, Ryan responded, "To Vatican City for a new wardrobe of sackcloth and ashes."