CHICOPEE, Massachusetts - Mitt Romney brought his Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour to the city that claims to be the place where Paul Revere bought the horse he rode on his midnight ride during the Revolutionary War.
Right off the bat Romney told the crowd that he was not going to answer any questions about one, how much money he makes and two, how much in taxes he pays.
A voice from the back asked, "Okay, fair enough Fluffy. So how about you telling us how it felt to get your butt kicked by the United Kingdom's Prime Minister David Cameron and London's Mayor Boris Johnson for making your thoughtless remarks about Olympic security not being up to par?"
Romney grinned and replied, "Next question."
A little old blue-haired lady, who appeared to be every bit of 90 spoke up and said, "Say Skippy, why are you such a secretive sort of fella?" The crowd roared approvingly.
The former governor of Massachusetts was then asked about his latest endorsement, which was from Charles Manson, who is presently incarcerated at The Abbott & Costello Men's Prison in Ventura, California.
Romney tried to sidestep that question as well. A young man who was dressed in a sailor's uniform told him that he wanted an answer and he wanted it now.
"Old Mittens" said that he had heard that Manson expressed to Piers Morgan that he was going to vote for him because he had promised him that he would issue him a presidential pardon once he takes office.
The GOP presidential candidate said that he had just told Manson that he would issue a pardon just to shut him up.
Romney giggled and pointed out that Roseanne Barr would have a better chance of winning a Miss Congeniality Award than Manson would of having his life sentence tossed in the trash can.
In Other News. The report that Jeffrey Ross has been kidnapped by a group of Bulgarian gypsies from Trinidad, Colorado, has as yet not been corroborated.