Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Barack Obama

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

image for Dykes On Bikes And Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence Endorse President Obama
Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

BILLINGSGATE POST - The San Francisco Chapter of Dykes on Bikes announced today that they were joining with The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in endorsing President Obama in the November election.

In 1976, a small group of women motorcyclists gathered at the head of the San Francisco Pride Parade and the tradition began. One of the women in the group facetiously coined the phrase, "Dykes on Bikes," to describe their group. Their legendary first leader, Izabell Cortalone, was somewhat a maverick. Mounted on a stretch Harley, she wore leather chaps that fully exposed her voluptuously turned buttocks, along with a gasp-inducing view of what most spectators thought was a tattoo of a grey, toothless beaver, originating just below her belly button and extending down to the base of her netherlands. The Dykes on Bike's signature is: "Ride safe. Ride Proud."

35 years later, Dykes on Bikes numbers 400 members, and its motorcycle contingent continues to lead the world famous San Francisco Pride Parade.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence is a self-described "leading-edge Order of Queer nuns." First appearing in San Francisco on Easter Sunday, 1979, the Sisters have devoted themselves to community service, ministry and outreach to those on the edges; somewhat the same philosophy as ACORN, an organization that President Obama uses to gain favor with those unable to care for themselves.

Among the early pioneers of the movement, Sister Boom Boom (aka Jack Fertig) was a key Queer pioneer who took Queer Consciousness to the mainstream. Running as "Nun of the Above," she/he nearly defeated Diane Feinstein in the San Francisco mayoral race.

Hit by the AIDS crisis in 1982, registered nurses Sister Florence Nightmare and Sister Roz Erection joined with medical professionals to create "Play Fair!," the first safer sex pamphlet to use plain, sex-positive language, practical advice and humor to encourage safe sex practices.

Mother Superior's Instructions and Tips for Self-Care:

Soap and Water: Wash your fruit before you eat it.

The Old Douche: Stop douching. It spreads all those little bugs.

Rimming: Sigh. This is a risky sexual behavior; fun but dangerous.

Cock Rings: Take off the ring when you are not using it. Big jewels are nice but can set off metal detecters.

Observation: Look before you lick. Some Sisters carry little flashlights for those dark and mysterious encounters.

Guilt: This is the deadliest of STDs. It hides in the deepest places in our hearts. Its origin is someone else's family values; Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, etc.

Advice for Obama: Play Fair and Be Queer. Our votes our yours.

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