Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Shark, Colorado

Monday, 6 August 2012

image for State of Colorado has first shark attack - ever!
I'm a lookin' for a big ol' fat boy I is.

Boulder, Colorado resident, Johnny Rubble, was shocked to find the Atlantic Ocean's waves lapping at the edge of his back yard. He was so happy at the strange circumstance that he decided to take a swim in the ocean which would turn out to be both his first and his last. No sooner had Johnny gotten more than 30 yards from shore than he was attacked by a 12 foot Great White shark.

Mr. Rubble managed to save his life but paid a high price for it. It cost him and arm and a leg.

"This global warming thing has gotten really out of control", exclaimed exasperated Johnny Rubble. "I thought I was a goner. Man, I thought white sharks like eating things that have a lot of fat in them, like seals or Rosie O'Donnell".

"I guess on the good side, I have the beach front property I have always craved".

The mayor of Boulder was very concerned about being sued for not having any union lifeguards on duty at the time of the attack and very angry that the city did not have any luxury tax for beach owned property.

Meanwhile, the city has put out a Public Service Announcement warning people who are traveling to the east coast to make sure they evolve and grow gills before they leave.

One positive thing about this occurrence is that Boulder resident Larry Board who owns the only surf board shop in the entire state of Colorado and who has never sold any surf boards in the 10 years that he has been open, is now listed in the Fortune 500 companies on Wall Street.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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