Written by Aspartame Boy
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Saturday, 4 August 2012

image for Aunt Jemima resigns Vice Presidential appointment
I'm not dancing with you. You never buy me anything Gaston.

Washington DC - Aunt Jemima held a brief press conference today. She announced that she would no longer agree to be Gaston's pick for Vice President of the United States of America.

"I's no way gunna serve no pancakes with crappy aspartame syrup. He was gonda make me use dat to save pennies. That stuff is nasty! No way i guuna do dat."

Gaston was going to use the extra money to purchase gold necklaces for his dressage horse, with whom he likes to dance and prance while wearing just his special Mormon underwear.

Gaston has been using aspartame for many years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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