Washington DC - Presumptive President, Gaston, has announced to a small cadre of reporters that he has chosen his running mate. In a surprise move, the Mormon underwear-wearing cartoon character Gaston, known for his superlative qualities of hitting, spitting, knitting, and mitting, has chosen a woman to be his running mate.
Aunt Jemima will balance the ticket since she is popular with Southerners, women, blacks, and poor people. Gaston promises to install a drive-through at the White House, if elected, where Aunt Jemima will dispense pancakes, free of charge, to anyone driving a Mercedes, Rolls Royce, or Cadillac.
"I don't care about poor people. But I sure like to take advantage of them", concluded Gaston.