In a move unprecedented in US history and possibly illegal, Mitt Romney announced at a press conference this morning that he would not announce his running mate until after the election in November. As the press corps reacted in stunned amazement, one journalist from Politico shouted out, "You can't do this!"
Candidate Romney replied in an angry tone, "Oh yes, I can! And yes I am! My tax returns are my business. Where I have my money stashed offshore is my business! How many times a day I go pooh is also my business and the locker room attendant at the country club, of course! And if I want to pick Ann's Olympic horse Trafalco as my VP, that is also my business, besides it wouldn't be the first time a horse's ass was picked for vice president!"
Politico: "Governor, are you saying that Vice President Joe Biden is a….." Romney interrupted, "No I am NOT saying Joe Biden is a horse's ass! On the other hand if the horse shoe fits, wear it!"
Politico: "Governor, you seem to be saying that the American public doesn't have the right to know anything about you!"
Romney: "What I am saying is," he paused, "the underworld has the right to know how to trim my roses and where they put my car in valet parking! That's it Fort Pitt!"