Written by alaskamojo
Print this
Topics: Mitt Romney

Thursday, 2 August 2012

image for Romney Says He Has Secret Plan to Win War on "Unemployment , Bad Things and Whatnot "
Old timer observers were reminded of President Richard M. Nixon's secret plan to win the Vietnam war

Calling it his "Happy Plan for America", Mitt Romney told casino goers at Donald Trump's Casino Royale in Geneva, Switzerland today that if elected he would announce his plan "to put every American adult to work in a job that pays a minimum of $250,000 per year. Since every voter would then be in the top 1%," he reasoned, "there would be unanimous agreement to extend the Republican tax cuts to all."

Noting that his plan's effectiveness would be compromised and "the lives of our brave young fighting men and women put at risk" were he to disclose his plan now, Romney said he could guarantee only that his plan would eliminate all poverty and cure all matter of ills facing the American people "no more no less, but that the American people would have to live with the sorry consequences and have only themselves to blame if they see fit not to elect me President."

Romney added that his plan would render all income over $250,000 non reportable meaning non taxable by the IRS.

Also, any monies kept in "foreign bank accounts, 401K accounts or tax
shelters shall be matched dollar for dollar (compliments of the U.S. Treasury) for the full amount of each account's balance as of December 31st of each year."

"Your choice is clear, my friends. If you don't want America to be the strongest richest nation in the world, and you want to go on being losers, I'm not your guy. Elect the other guy. If you want my winning happy plan for your country, your Swiss bank accounts, you and your children, I'm your guy," Romney finished mid smirk.

Make alaskamojo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

1 6 15 22
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more