ATLANTA GA (AP) The Chick-fil-A fast food chain announced yesterday that it would be dropping its popular "Waffle Fries" from its menu and replacing them with a new fried potato product.
At a press conference, Chick-fil-A spokesman Ted Haggard explained the reasons for the menu change. "Notable televangelists such as Pat Robertson and Mike Huckabee, along with the two anti-equality political PACs, the National Organization for Marriage and the American Family Association have requested that we remove "Waffle Fries" from our menu. They point out that current product too closely resembles a lesbian orgy."
"Chick-fil-A is grateful to these family oriented political organizations and politicians for bringing this to our attention. We agree that our Waffle Fries are actually tasty Pagan potato paste abominations depicting promiscuous sexual behavior among beautiful naked women. The Chick-fil-A corporation remains firmly opposed to beautiful naked women enjoying each other."
Haggard continued, "Because Waffle Fries are a threat to the very fabric of our society, they will immediately be replaced with our new crispy Jesus Fries, a new fried potato mixture formed in the shape of a cross. This new menu item will remind everyone that Jesus fried for their sins."