Written by Jean Le Fete

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Tuesday, 24 July 2012

image for Michelle Bachmann Agrees to Wear Gag Instead of Facing Censure
Michelle Bachmann in the Middle

U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann has agreed to settle for a punishment for reckless and controversial comments about Huma Abedin. Instead of facing censure in Congress, Bachmann has agreed to wear a ball gag for the next month.

John McCain lead negotiations with Bachmann and had this to say, "Michelle agreed that her biggest difficulty is keeping her big mouth shut and from saying every stupid thing that comes into her brain, which from her doctor's estimates is anywhere from 99.999998 to 99.999999 percent of the time. I mean just in that conversation alone she accused me of being a Democrat/ultra liberal double agent, asshole. I said, 'Michelle hold it right there, I completely agree that I'm an asshole, but the rest is going too far and has no basis.' Some members wanted me to make her wear a burkah as well, so they wouldn't have to look at her at all. Others were concerned she might still run up and point at Hillary, or her staff members, but Michelle has agreed to this and I see no reason to cause her further embarrassment."

Michelle Bachmann, as part of the gag order, has already begun wearing the gag, but still had this comment, "Wharououta' ogh iaoghar maofjw;oeitl1!_0". She then scribbled a note that was equally unintelligible.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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