After the uproar by the US Congress over the discovery that the 2012 US Summer Olympic Uniforms were all made in China, it was announced today the 2014 Olympic Uniforms will be made by a US Company.
Standing outside the US Capitol, Sneaker of the Mouse, Joe Boehner addressed a vibrant cheering crowd waving US flags that were made in China by shouting:
"Hey everybody, I just made a burp come out of my butt!"
Reading from a prepared speech Boehner continued: "In all seriousness folks, we are happy to announce that we need to get a quart of milk, a dozen eggs and, uh wait a minute, this is my wife's grocery list. Damn you Obama!"
"Oh wait a minute! Here it is! It's where my hankie is supposed to be. Oh rats! I blew my nose on it".
"Well anyway, we've awarded the privilege of manufacturing the US 2014 Olympic Uniforms to a US company. The 2014 uniforms will look just like the 2012 Summer Uniforms because the company will have to outsource them to China. But, the good side is that the company should make a ton of money because each uniform will be paid for as if it was made in the USA, so that should count as something, shouldn't it? As far as anything else goes, I can't tell you because there are buggers all over the rest of my speech".
It was learned later that American clothier Ka-Ching which is owned by Jerry McDo and Johnny McDon't had won the contract. In an afternoon press conference Jerry McDo claimed that due to the high cost of illegal immigrant labor and shortage of seamstresses with needle scars all over their arms, he was forced to outsource the manufacturing of the basic "uniform material" to China. He guaranteed that most of the work will be done here in the US after the "uniform material" arrives from China.
"Don't worry everyone", started Mr. McDo. "The US worker will get plenty of work and money out of this. Illegal immigrants Juan and Juanita will be putting a US Label pin on each Chinese made uniform and then putting them in a box and shipping them off to the US Olympic committee. The label pins are made in Taiwan which is not really China. They just feel that the US should consider them China which is probably why they make all those tiny toys that get caught in our kid's throats".
"The boxes that the uniforms will be shipped in will definitely be made in the good old US of A".
"Now is that cool or what?"