Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 17 July 2012

image for Mitt Romney and The World War II Veteran
Romney showing a good luck coin he was given last year by Bernie Madoff.

DOVER, Delaware - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into Dover, the town that claims to be the place where drinking straws were invented.

Romney was asked by a gentleman who said he was 89, if he feels that he can defeat President Obama in November.

The former governor of Massachusetts smiled and asked "Well old-timer let me put it like this. Would Kobe Bryant kick your butt in a game of 'Horse?'"

The old man identified as Bramdon P. McMap replied, "Well, maybe, if I lose my balance and trip on my walker, you air headed, arrogant, sissy-haired fruit cup."

Romney sensing that the old man was a bit upset immediately apologized. He then told him that he was just pulling his leg.

The old man replied that he had fought at Guadacanal, Iwo Jima, and Corregidor and that he didn't need no young, Johnny-Come-Lately, whippersnapper trying to embarrass him in front of his mom and dad.

"Your mom and dad?" Romney asked. "My goodness how old are they?"

The old man grinned and said that it was none of his friggin business and that he wanted for him to stop attacking Congressman Ron Paul and saying things like he's shorter than a lawn chair, he's older than The Mississippi River, and that he spits when he uses words that begin with the letter P like perpendicular, Poughkeepsie, quintessential, and pistachios.

"You got it old fella. I promise." Romney replied. "Oh and by the way the word quintessential does not begin with a P."

"I know it nut bucket" The old man answered, "And speaking of P, I'll see ya later wig chump I gotta find me an O'Boy."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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