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Topics: Ugly

Thursday, 12 July 2012

image for Mom leaves daughter outside of Bar
Lynn Cameron scared away the men.

An Illinois woman left her 19-year-old daughter outside a Tennessee bar in the hopes a backwater hick would marry her.

"As bizarre as it is, unfortunately there were no laws broken," Assistant Police Chief Stephanie Smith said.

According to a witness, Elvira Le-Squid Cameron stopped at the Big Orange Bar in Caryville and spotted a fine bunch of buck toothed hillbilly gentlemen. Hoping that one would take her daughter home and settle down with her, she decided to drop her off.

"I got tired of bathing my adult daughter and watching her get stirred up," said the mother.

Unfortunately, the plan at the bar did not work because all the hicks had an I.Q. of 24 and this made them aware enough to figure out there was something wrong with the Lynn Cameron, so they all left the bar in a hurry before Lynn could ask them out on a date.

Even the bar mascot, a hound dog named Elvis, ran out of the bar before Lynn could spot him.

"I'm a woman, and I know what it feels like not having a man to cuddle with and not having a husband," the mother continued, "I just wanted my daughter to have a family and to live a normal life just like any other woman."

Police said Lynn Cameron is being cared for at a facility in Roane County.

"The facilities is just like them prisons with no access to healthy, intelligent men to breed yur perfect human brew, but she is well cared fur," officer Bubba Jones continues, "There is plenty's of them lesbians cohabitates to keep Lynn cozy fur da rest of her life."

Republican senators say they do not care because there will be one less weirdo yearning for a man.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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