Philadelphia, PA-- An 89-year old spinster has become the oldest person to ever have a sex change operation. Miss Vicky Smegma is now known as Mr. Victor Smegma and he says that he couldn't be happier.
The former English school teacher says he had the sex-change because he was tired of being called an 'old maid'.
"It's sex discrimination." said Mr. Smegma. "Unmarried men are never called 'old gentlemen', so why should unmarried women be called old maids. It's a stigma" he opined.
The new Mr. Smegma is taking hormone shots and has grown his first beard.
"I've been shaving off a mustache every week since menopause, so shaving isn't anything new for me. he said as he rubbed his hairy chin.
Mr. Smegma has completed his sex change, but has decided to not have any kind of physical surgery on his breasts or sex organs.
"I'm 89 years old. Everything down there is all wrinkly now anyway. Who's going to know the difference??" he shrugged.
Like all English school teachers, Mr. Smegma prefers having sex with dogs instead of people. He says the sex change has brought him and his French poodle much closer.
"The dog used to get on top of me, but now I get on top of the dog." said Mr. Smegma.