The Associated Press is reporting this morning that Chief Justice John Roberts was spotted boarding an international flight at Ronald Reagan International Airport. Evidently Justice Roberts was wearing sackcloth and ashes in an attempt to disguise himself although this garb was suggested to him on the Fox & Friends TV show the previous evening. His destination is unknown. When a reporter spotted him and shouted out "Where are you going," Robertsrepliedgruffly, "Anywhere!"
As speculation mounted this morning among the media and the political elite, word was leaked from the Romney campaign that the presidential hopeful was considering an unknown for the position if he is elected. The anonymous source said Romney intends to nominate the Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina, to the highest court in the land. The New York Times ran a banner headline reading, "Why? Why? Why?"
As the national media rushed to the small town of Louisburg to interview the Reverend McCorkle, he hurriedly called a press conference, one of the first the small town had ever seen. McCorkle, a local celebrity was smiling as he took the podium in front of his church. A reporter from the Washington Post was the first to ask a question: "Reverend McCorkle, can you tell us why the next president of the Unite States would choose you to be on the highest court in the land and you don't even have a law degree?"
McCorkle: "Of course! None of my folks have ever been represented. We rednecks comprise twenty-five percent of the country's population and eighty-five percent of its mouth. Bout time I'd say!"
Reporter: "You mean you would bring a much needed diversity to the court?
Yep, that's what I mean. Di-ver-city! Look," he paused, "You got an Eye-talian, you got a Jew, you got a Mexican, and you got a colored," he paused again, "well, almost. Anyways we need to get our say."
Reporter: This would be quite a change for you, wouldn't it, you know, being one of the most influential folks in the land?"
McCorkle: "Naw, not really. Just change my white sheet for one of them black sheets, learn to look all cranky and mean, do the same stuff I'm doing now. You know, be like the Eye-talian guy. Just so I don't have to stand in the back row alongside the colored when they take the pictures."