Written by susan allen-rosario
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Friday, 29 June 2012

image for Movie Theaters Ban Breastfeeding
"If you want a glass of milk do you carry a cow around in your bag?'

Seattle, Washington - Protests mount outside of theaters in the Seattle area after the management of one of the theater chains banned breastfeeding in their establishment.

"We have a strict policy against patrons bringing in their own food and that includes breasts."

"If you want a glass of milk do you carry a cow around in your bag, just in case you need a nip?

"We will not allow patrons to bring in food of any kind. We offer a variety of stale candy and over-priced, fat-dripping, popcorn in all of our theaters"

Theatergoers say mothers are getting creative.

"I saw one mother who had her nipple coming out of the bottom of a box of popcorn."

When asked if breastfeeding in the theater bothered them. Theater patrons said without exception "no".

"Hard to pity a kid with titty," one man said.

One person added, "a baby can't scream with a mouth full of nipple. It seems so simple; spare the nipple, spoil the movie."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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