HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week, the results of which may have a profound effect on the way Americans view life.
The vast majority or 90.9% of people surveyed, or 10 of 11 kids at Harfold Fish & Chips, reveal a startling conclusion: you can't just be what want just because you set your mind to it.
"We've created in this country slews of people who go off to college with delusions of grandeur," says Florian Lorenz, instructor of sociology. "If they're lucky, they flunk out before burning too much money and get a job doing what they should've been doing right out of high school.
"We graduate millions of business managers every year but nobody knows how to change an oil filter or make their own lunch."