White House sources admitted, late Tooosday [Gesundheit! -Ed], that it's just not worth it.
Said spokesman Ed Havenuff, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have to face facts. The World finds itself trying to navigate a well-known stream without a means of propulsion. The Economy can't be fixed. The Middle East has been taken over by a bunch of loonies. One person in three in the United States is a tax evader or a pervert. The entire landmass, south of 38 degrees is in the hands of Mexican bandits. We have so much radioactive waste that it could fill the state of Wyoming. Everyone in Congress is on the take.
The Cabinet met, this morning, and it was agreed that the human race had been a failure, as an experiment. Therefore, the President has signed an executive order, effective immediately, which abolishes everything. The conspiracy theorists were right: we really do have that much control. Anyway, from today, you and your colleagues will not be able to fill your nooospapers, blogs and the airwaves with an unremitting torrent of bad nooos, designed to terrorise the people into barricading their doors, buying more guns than the Chinese National Liberation Army, watching ABC, voting Republican etc."
Journalists across the nation reacted angrily, claiming that the President's actions were "deconstructitutional".
"We'll take him to the Supreme Court, just see if we d...
At this point, the Executive Order came into operation.